Man Pain

Posted on Sat Apr 19th, 2025 @ 9:18pm by Lieutenant Commander Riavria & Crewman Herschel Altmann & Crewman Tiazal Jiru & Crewman Apprentice Viktoriya Nikolayenko

1,243 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Short Treks
Location: Sickbay, USS Enterprise
Timeline: 2439-03-13, 03:15

"You worry way too much," Crewman Viktoriya Nikolayenko said as she and Crewman Herschel Altmann walked toward the Enterprise's Sickbay. "Keep this up and you'll be gray before you're 25."

Herschel sighed, "I won't be surprised if I am because we'll still be in the Brig."

"Doctor Riavria isn't that bad," the younger of the two answered.

"Not from what I hear," the slightly older answered as they rounded the corridor toward the Clinic Ward. "I heard that on her last assignment she had an orderly scrub the surgical bay with a toothbrush because they got her Raktajino order wrong."

"Hard to do in the era of Replicators," Viktoriya chided. "I thought Security Specialists were supposed to be big, macho, rough and tumble types? Where'd they find you?"

Altmann crossed his arms as they continued to walk, "I can be all those things."

"Only not when I'm around apparently?" Nikolayenko countered.

"I can show you later if you like?" Herschel countered.

Viktoriya wagged a finger, "Not with that attitude. Besides, I want to win."

"Of course you do," the Security Specialist answered with a sigh. "At least the internal sensors aren't registering any patients in the ER. Should be pretty easy."

"Maybe bringing you along wasn't such a bad idea after all," the Yeoman said as they reached the entrance to Enterprise's Emergency Room and entered.

Enterprise, as the flagship of the Federation, was one of the largest vessels within Starfleet. A Century Class starship, she featured three wards as part of the Sickbay Complex on Deck 8. The first ward was a Clinic for more routine procedures while the third was an Intensive Care Unit. They had entered the Emergency Ward, which was more geared toward emergency treatment and unscheduled medical needs. Fortunately, since Enterprise was early in its mission, it wasn't in much demand right now and only a single nurse could be seen.

"Welcome to Sickbay," Crewman Tiazal Jiru greeted from the Nurse's Station in the corner of the room, "How can I help you today?"

Viktoriya put her hand on Herschel's stomach, momentarily impressed by what she felt beneath her hand, "My boyfriend and I were having some fun and... well he had some man problems."

"Oh my," the Nurse answered as Herschel looked angrily at Virtoriya, "No need to be embarrassed. Can you describe the man problem? We can get you some help."

"I felt really, really warm," Herschel croaked out through embarrassment.

The Nurse rose from the desk, "Let's get you to a biobed and run some scans. Doctor Riavria will be back in a few minutes."

The Security Crewman switched from embarrassment to annoyance, "I thought that Doctor Ilkun had the nightshift today?"

"He's in a surgery," the Trill answered. She motioned toward the Biobed, "Don't worry though. Doctor Riavria is a great doctor. She'll get you fixed up," the Nurse looked at Viktoriya with a wink, "And at attention in no time."

"Thank you," the Yeoman answered. She answered playfully, "I REALLY appreciate it."

The Medical Crewman pulled the equipment tray over to the biobed, "Don't mention it. We'll be right back." The Nurse turned away and walked toward the office located in the back of the Ward.

Once the Trill was out of earshot, Herschel growled, "Man problem?"

"Well, no one's going to believe I'm the problem," Nikolayenko teased.

Altmann countered, "Anyone who's ever met you knows that you're the problem."

Viktoriya was all business now, "We only have a few seconds to upload the program to the Doctor's Tricorder. You ready?"

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," the Security Specialist answered as he slid off the biobed and took the Tricorder scanner from the tray. "Tricking the Medical Tricorder to misread a patient as a Vulcan Marsupial is dangerous for the real patients. What would you do if there was a mass casualty or someone came in here with a real problem? Did you ever think about that when you were planning this?"

"I'll worry about that later. I just want to win Bingo. You got that setup?" The Yeoman asked, glancing back to see if Doctor Brooks or that overly chipper nurse were on their way back.

Altmann was switching the positronic chip as she spoke and slipped the device back on the table as he noticed the nurse and the doctor coming back.

"So, I hear that the little soldier's having trouble staying at attention?" The Romulan asked a little louder than she probably should've.

"Something like that," the Security Crewman blushed, while giving Viktoriya the evil eye.

Doctor Riavria walked over to the equipment tray, "Well don't worry, it's more common than you think. We'll just get you examined and you will be raring to go." She picked up a set of examination gloves from the dispenser.

"What's that?" the Yeoman asked seeing the doctor putting on gloves.

"I have to perform an examination so that you two can have happy fun time," the Chief Medical Officer explained as she checked the fit of her gloves. "I find the classic approach gets me more information to actually help you, so I skip the Tricorder and go right for a hands-on approach. Like I said though, you're the third person to come in today with the same problem and they're all doing the mambo right now, well I assume at least."

"Really, doctor, I'm feeling better," Herschel said trying to get off the biobed.

Nikolayenko rested her hands on Herschel's chest, "Really, sweetie, let's just hold on a minute. Doctor, can't we just scan him real quick? It'll just take a second."

"So will this," the Romulan said as she stood at the edge of the biobed. "If you'll step outside I'll get this exam over with. Computer, privacy field around biobed one." An opaque forcefield appeared around the biobed and Riavria looked at Altmann, "Alright, Crewman, drop the pants."

With that the Security Guard slid off the biobed, "That's quite alright. I don't have any problem with saluting, and Viktoriya's a nut." He went to the forcefield and bounced off of it. "Drop the field, I don't need examined."

"Oh? I thought you were having a man problem?" The Doctor asked looking between Altmann and Nikolayenko. "Or, perhaps, it's you just wanted to reprogram my Tricorder to tell me you're some kind of rodent? I didn't need the Tricorder to tell me that, by the way."

"How preposterous! I should report you," Viktoriya mock protested.

The Romulan Doctor shook her head, "The other two pretty much said the same thing. So far only one fine young man let me actually do the exam and, poor thing, actually had an STI." She looked at Altmann, "Bet you're glad I wear gloves!"

She picked up the Tricorder, "Now, I don't know about this whole Enterprise Bingo thing you people have going on, but not in my Sickbay. Try this again and you're on report. Dismissed, or I do check your swimmers," she looked at Herschell then Viktoriya, "And your basket."

"We're going," Crewman Altmann said as he grabbed Crewman Nikolayenko's arm and started for the door.

Once they were outside the room she looked at the nurse, "Notify the Security Chief of this little incident for me."

"Just like the last one?" Tiazal Jiru asked with a smirk.

The Romulan nodded as she walked back to her office, "Just like the last one and find out what this Bingo is!"

 

RSS Feed