A Shoulder To Cry On

Posted on Thu Jun 13th, 2019 @ 3:48pm by Commander Nathan Hawkins
Edited on on Thu Jan 2nd, 2020 @ 5:37pm

1,057 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Atlantis
Location: Green's Quarters
Timeline: 2429-12-02, 08:00

Fresh from Twenty Forward after a catch up with Bishop over a few drinks Nathan Hawkins was a man on a mission. His friend words had sparked something within him, something he’d been hesitate perhaps afraid to approach and do.

Love, had been fleet full thing for the Commander. Once, years ago he had a wife and young son, like himself she was a Starfleet Officer drawn into service by the romance of that stars and wonder that lay before them. Of, course being young and idealistic they were rather naïve to the dangers exploring the unknown could bring until it was far too late.

Healing the wound left by their loss took Nathan years, during that time he’d pass on any advances made toward him, opting instead to focus his effort in his role which in time earned another type of attention. Rising in rank made the prospect of filling the void in his personal life more challenging only one or two were lucky enough to succeed, but as the course of time and constant changing shape of the Federation played out their relationships died out.

Expect for one.

Though it was late he hoped she’d still be awake. The day had been taxing for everyone, the events on the colony, the attack on the ship, the lives lost… everything could have been so much worse. Those were the thoughts that would keep him up for hours yet plus this new burning desire to tell Carla just how he felt.

Please be awake, please let me in were his thoughts as he pressed the chime for her quarters.


Carla lay in bed, but she wasn't sleeping. Despite the meds from sickbay to help, and her own miserable attempts at sleep meditation, she was still having terrible nightmares. In some, the ship exploded, killing everyone, in others she was sucked out into space. But, the worst was the one that occurred for real. And on it went over and over, like a stuck file, the death of Commander Hw'ii.

She sat up startled as the chime in her room went off.

Getting a robe, she put it on and went to the door,. Standing near it. "Who...who is it?" she asked, in a shaken tone.

On the other side of the closed door Nathan paused, taken back by her timid tone concerned he'd disturbed her. "Carla, it's me Nathan."

"NATHAN?" She opened the door quickly and fell into his arms, tears still on her face. "Hold me!" she buried her face against him.

"It's alright," Nathan said gently wrapping his arms around her having overcome his momentarily surprise at her tearful appearance.

Carla drew him into her quarters and the doors shut. "I haven't been able to sleep much." she pulled back a little, looking at him. "Nightmares."

Gently he wiped at tear from her cheek and kissed her forehead. His heart wept for her seeing she in such a vulnerable, distressed state. "About the cargo bay?" Nathan asked softly already know the answer.

"Yes, the Cargo Bay, Nathan. I keep seeing it over and over. Sometimes in different images that make it worse. I always wake up shaking and sometimes crying, or wet on my face, from crying in my sleep. I've never been so torn up from something like this. It was so...personal." She looked up at him.

He could relate having endured loss over his career both personal and in the line of duty. Heck even now he'll experience the odd night sweat from the assault on the Vigilance where he was the sole survivor or the brutal murder of a nurse on an away mission. "Did you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know what I can say!" She moved away. "I don't know what I can do! I'm just hoping throwing myself into duty, my job, will force me to focus, and I can ignore it, until finally it just goes away!"

He needed to choose his words carefully, she was grieving and blaming herself for Hw'ii' death a wrong word and she'll boil over. "We both know it went go away on it's own," he answered honestly. "Throwing yourself into your role is just temporary fix, understanding how to deal with your emotions and more importantly forgive yourself are more challenging," he stepped closer. "But you don't have to do this on your alone."

"I don't?" She looked at him. "Please don't tell me you're suggesting I go to the counselor? How is she going to stop my nightmares? I've never had this happen to me before! It's like some broken vid that keeps coming back to haunt me!" Carla moved to him and threw herself in his arms again, "Stay with me tonight! Please? I know you're busy, we both are. It never seems to end. Ever. Just a big cyclic circle that keeps going around with each mission, each bad encounter."

He pulled her close wishing he could ease her burden. "Of course I'll stay tonight," he assured gently stroke her back. "I'll stay every night if I could," he paused taking a steadying breathe and a silent prayer he wasn't about to be rejected. "I love you Carla, I'd move mountains to see you happy."

"Thank you, Nathan." She buried herself in his chest and held him close. "Being with you, I feel so safe. I think if I had that more often, it might help chase the nightmares away." She looked up at him, "Please kiss me.."

"I'm here for you Carla, always." He held her tightly his heart hammering so hard she'd probably heard it. "You don't even need to ask," he tilted his head, caressed her jaw and kissed her softly upon the lips.

She kissed him deeply holding him tightly to her body. Then, she gently pulled back, smiled, and pulled him to her bedroom. "I love when you hold me. I feel so safe, and it's like nothing can touch me." She smiled and faced him, then let her hair down. "I want you love me hard and deeply tonight. All night."

"Oh Carla," Nathan moaned softly at the sight of her tussled hair, flushed cheeks and the loosely hung robe exposing her delightful skin underneath.

He couldn't undo his uniform fast enough



Fade to black...

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