"Lovely" Day By The Seaside

Posted on Mon Sep 23rd, 2019 @ 1:21am by Lieutenant Commander Victoria Rigby M.D.
Edited on on Thu Jan 2nd, 2020 @ 5:44pm

967 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Atlantis
Location: One Year Before Deployment to Starfleet One
Timeline: 2428-12-02

Vikki stood facing the forceful and wild nature of the waves. Each sheet of water sounded so defiant against gravity as it built a wall as high as the cliffs the woman stood upon; building higher and higher before crashing against the stone in a final hurl of force. The water partly dispersing back to where it came; the rest soaking into the clay and stones beneath her feet as the weight of her body caused her to sink a little.

The wind whistled through the hollow of the stones, drowning out all other sound that may have threatened to intrude upon the woman’s refuge; her only company the heavy weight of the bottle in her hand.

The same wind, wiped across Vikki’s hair as it tugged and pulled at each strand caught back in a bun; leaving it free to be whipped about by the force of nature. Wild and untamed as the emotions that lay inside of the woman felt.

The cold air whistling around her salt water dampened clothes caused her body to just feel numb...a numbness that was almost welcomed as it meant that she didn’t need to feel...all she had to do was watch the replay of scenes behind her mind’s eye; listening to the past as it pounded through her ears.

What had been so many years before was happening here and now in the real time...a reel playing in Vikki’s head as she let it come; weakened against being able to push it back.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?!?!”

Even at that specific moment in time, standing on the cliff edge, Vikki flinched as she felt the vice like grip on her arm and the fear that threatened to overwhelm her mind.

“You’re jus like her...both carved from the same mould...the same red hair...the same green eyes...

Even though the words running through her mind were gentle and remorseful, the iron grip in her hand only tightened as she felt the flesh beneath begun to burn and bruise. The woman’s mind trying to scream that none of it was real but the words were lost amongst the rush of memories.

But you’re not her at all are you...You’re not my Amber...your just the stook she left behind when she left me.

Vikki let out a cry as she felt the ironclad hand made contact with her cheek, her body threatening to fall now as it did once before but instead her fingers tightened more around the neck of the bottle as if she held on for fear life; the ache of the pain in her hand lost amongst the rest.

You’re weak...so feabile and frail just like she was...

Vikki felt the tears flood her eyes as each softly spoken word resonated through her mind.

You’ll never be the mother that she was...

The tears now mingled with the salt of the water as the sob that built in her chest was lost in the roar of the waves. He was right...what kind of mother was she? She hasn’t even been able to cope...she’s become a woman no different to how her Dad had been. Finding solace in the bottom of a bottle because the alcohol made it go all away.

You’ll never be anybody in this life...

Another sob left the counsellor’s chest as her knees began to buckle, a scream leaving her lips as she tried to still hold on.

You’re pathetic...nothing less than worthless...

Vikki barely felt the pain as her knees came into contact with the mud and rocks which had formally been beneath her feet.

You leave me just as she left me...you leave your children just as she left you...you’re all the same.

Memories and reality clashed in the words she was hearing and what she saw in the moment in time. If she were to look back on this, hindsight would have pointed out that what he said was untrue...he couldn’t have said it when the twins weren’t alive back then. But hindsight didn’t matter right now...all that mattered was the roll and waves of pain and emotion that each single word hammered home.

You’re worthless...useless...

Through it all Vikki still grasped the bottle tightly in her hand; the contents spilling that had never been touched. The earth beneath, draining away what her body and mind begged for.

You will never be anybody...you will never amount to anything in your life...you are a nobody to us all

Sobs continued to wrench from her chest as Vikki struggled to hard to hold on. The storm around her becoming wilder with each cry, the water hurling itself harder against the stone of the cliff and the wind beat against her body threatening to try and take her away.

How easy would it be to take just two steps forward, to let the water engulf her in its power and take her away from this...just take her away from it all. How easy would it be to just drown herself as she’d done so before in a bottle...to drown out all she’d lost and who’d she’d been allowed to become.

You were never worth the air that you breath to begin with...

Vikki felt her hand tighten even further on the bottle as the pain in the same hand intensified in waves as powerful as those that she faced.

What was the point anymore....

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